Why is that

the first thing i wake up in the moning i think of is you. Everything i do, everything i see reminds me of you. Why do i feel this way ?

Pathetic

yeahh, thats how i feel right now. Liking you, wanting to talk to you. Building the guts to talk to you and KNOW that it will die out in the next 5 mins. Seeing your text today, put the biggest smile on my facee. Seeing your smily face was the highlight of my whole sucky thanksgiving weekend. Youre the on that i think about all day in class, to the point where i cant even concentrate on something as simple as watering a plant.

So i just had a flashback ;
that gives me alittle hope, but i KNOW that i have no chance with you.

DEPRESSION KILLS

And ima about to be dead....

No titlee

So i guess im done. Done trying to make things happen, and end up the one getting hurt. I guess im done trying to start the conversations so that we dont forget about eachother. I guess im done trying to make things happen with you, when i know that the conversations gonna die out. I guess im done doing things that i dont wanna do just to make you happy so that our friendship wont fall apart. You have new friends now, choosing another guy over your "best" friend. You have "better" friends that you would prefer to hang out over us. Well you have so many other girls on you that you dont care, or even think about me as much as i do about you. You dont even care about anyone other then yourself and make you happy. All i need now, so someone that i can lean on when i'm losing it. Someone that actually cares and understands, what i do and why i have to do it. Someone who can cheer me up when i'm at rock bottom. I just need someone who really cares.

November 26, 2009

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODYY.
Its thanksgiving and its just me and my mom at home. Shes about to leave soon, so its just gonna be me. Funn righttt ?

FAG ?! nahh, FAK (: !

iatenaiyana (8:37:54 PM): i think hes insane
iatenaiyana (8:37:56 PM): HA.
iatenaiyana (8:37:59 PM): he better come around
iatenaiyana (8:38:12 PM): or ill go to THE FAKE SVHS and find him
iatenaiyana (8:38:13 PM): HAHAH
asdmimijkl (8:38:20 PM): HAHAH ! lmaoo !
asdmimijkl (8:38:33 PM): hmphhhh ! i'm so INTERESTED in him
iatenaiyana (8:38:33 PM): ohkay well SV was first
asdmimijkl (8:38:35 PM): LIKE SO MUCHH
iatenaiyana (8:38:37 PM): HAHAH.
iatenaiyana (8:38:38 PM): I CAN TELL
asdmimijkl (8:38:45 PM): LMAOO X]
iatenaiyana (8:38:48 PM): i think we've changed the subject a couple times
iatenaiyana (8:38:51 PM): but you bring him back
iatenaiyana (8:38:53 PM): THATS A SIGN
iatenaiyana (8:38:54 PM): (8
asdmimijkl (8:38:58 PM): HAHAH ! X]
asdmimijkl (8:39:06 PM): ohkay lets change it
asdmimijkl (8:39:09 PM): FOR GOOD
asdmimijkl (8:39:11 PM): hahah !
iatenaiyana (8:39:11 PM): FAK
asdmimijkl (8:39:15 PM): so how was your dayy ?
iatenaiyana (8:39:15 PM): sorry i changed it back
iatenaiyana (8:39:17 PM): HAHAHA
iatenaiyana (8:39:23 PM): oh my day was FAK
iatenaiyana (8:39:25 PM): FAK FAK FAK FAK
asdmimijkl (8:39:33 PM): HAHAHHA ! EFF YOUUU
asdmimijkl (8:39:34 PM): x]
iatenaiyana (8:39:35 PM): all you see is FAK everywhere dont you?!
iatenaiyana (8:39:40 PM): HAHA I LOVE YOU THOUGH
asdmimijkl (8:39:46 PM): lmaoo x]
iatenaiyana (8:39:53 PM): not as much as i love fak tho
iatenaiyana (8:39:54 PM): HAHAHA

30 seconds later

iatenaiyana (8:40:31 PM): make a name for him
iatenaiyana (8:40:34 PM): a scret codename
iatenaiyana (8:40:35 PM): LIKE FAG
asdmimijkl (8:40:36 PM): oh godd, FCKING __________ !
asdmimijkl (8:40:39 PM): lmaoo !
asdmimijkl (8:40:41 PM): FINE ASS GUY
iatenaiyana (8:40:41 PM): FOR FRESH ASIAN GUY
iatenaiyana (8:40:43 PM): oh
asdmimijkl (8:40:44 PM): oh haha
iatenaiyana (8:40:46 PM): HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
asdmimijkl (8:41:05 PM): fak
asdmimijkl (8:41:06 PM): FAK
asdmimijkl (8:41:11 PM): FINE ASS _____ X]
iatenaiyana (8:41:11 PM): fins ass _____
asdmimijkl (8:41:13 PM): HAHAH !
iatenaiyana (8:41:13 PM): HAHAHHA
iatenaiyana (8:41:30 PM): thats a good one

OH goshh, i miss this girl

Wowwww -_-

I pathetically miss you. And i dont even mean shit to you. Its been 5 days, and im still counting.

These Threeeeee

are all that matters.
When it comes down to it, they're all that i need.

TODAYYYY

hit me like a big yellow bus. I say that i dont care, but deep DEEP down i honestly kinda do. Seeing what happend just made me think what if i was in that postion? What if was was standing here with you? hah, wow i feel stupid for feeling this way still. No ones ever made me feel like the way you made me feel. The way you "cared" about me the way you " liked" me the way you hugged me. I just dont know how to react to all this. I guess i should be happy with where im at right now, but i just cant stop thinking about the what if's. But the thing i find really weird is that why did you chose today? Out of all the days that you could of done that, you chose today. An A day. Why did it have to be an a day ? why couldnt it be a b day? Or over the weekend. Those little things are what makes me still wonder. You made me feel speacial, even if it wasnt real to you. I felt it. No ones made me feel like you did in a long time. I thought now ima let the feelings free, but now they have faded. I dont care anymore. You and your lies. And the stupidest thing about this whole thing isss, youre not even cute, your personality sucks, and youre UGLYYY. OHkayss, im over (: Its all about M&K timee noww (:

Just for Vivian ;D

Heyy besss, you know you like thiss (:

I hateeee

the fact that I only get to see you 2 days a week. I hate the fact that everytime I wanna see you I have to see her. I hate the fact that the bond that we use to have is gone. I hate the fact that just because of one bee youre totally different. I hate the fact that I cant tell you the things that I use to be able to tell you. What happend to us ? What happend to the bond that we had? What happend to all the brother-sister moments that we had, when you would just randomly call me and tell me to get dressed and you take me somewhere. What happend to the days when you would take me and mom out to lunch. Wow, just in a blink of an eye everything can change. In less then a year, our family, our realaionship, our connection has totally drifted. I dont know what more i can say, i dont know what more i can do. This girl driving me nuts, and i only see her every other week. How do you stand looking at her face every second of every minute of every hour of every day. It bothers me how you cant even have a decent conversation with mom and dad without it feeling awkward now. How can one little relationship wreck so many things. You know that you've sacraficed so much for this but think about it, would it be worth it in the end ? I wish i could get you to understand what im feeling. But no matter how hard i try, you wont ever listen and understand me like you once did. All because of her and her ugliness. I just want everthing to be back like how it was before. I miss you anh duc.